Donkey years ago, I heard the line 「有花堪折直須折，莫待無花空折枝」 and did not make much of it. Today, I realised that this was a story about 因緣。
Everything has it's causes and conditions. The distinction is important - it is often thought of as delineating the primary and secondary reasons behind a result/phenomena. For example, I might have gotten my salary because I put in the hours and effort. Most people would agree that is the primary "cause" of receiving a salary, but often we forget it wasn't our OWN effort, but also the secondary "causes" like having an employer to employ you, that we have had some educational background (made possible by even more other causes and conditions) etc.
For a long while I've been fighting the idea that there can be "primary"and "secondary" conditions for a phenomena, since for a phenomena to occur there must be both occurring in confluence, so there really cannot be a distinction in their importance.
But today I perceived the "causes and condition" theory in a new light - in terms of control. I think, from the standpoint of "I", there are parts of the equation that we can control and parts which we cannot.
And what motivated that understanding? That I've been unhappy about things. I put up time for my girlfriend, and expected her to appreciate me, or at least use me more (as her breathing dictionary), but got none. See - I can put in my part of the equation, but I can't help her put in the rest. Understanding so, I realised 「隨緣」 hardly means that one is passive/aimless. One must put in the full measure of what one can control and LEAVE THE REST to other actors. So the end cannot be expected.
So if there are flowers on the branches, and you so desire to possess them, then go ahead and bring them home, do not wait for the flowers to have withered, for, try as you may, you would only have some twigs for your fireplace then. Of course, like Kelvin mentioned, you can pluck the flowers only if you are willing to face the consequences.
So, should I study for my Stats exam?
Sunday, 25 September 2011
Sunday, 18 September 2011
It is time to start again!
I spent half a year in Taiwan and found someone there. Lots went through my mind since I returned from Taiwan, while I tried and continue to try to make sense of my experiences but one things is clear - passive/investment income is key to what I want to accomplish in future. And this cash has to be available irregardless of which country or place or time I end up in.
There are two directions - do translation and trade forex. So here I am, full circle. I'm happy, because I don't quite like having to tell myself that I have, yet again, let go of another of my spurts of interest in stuff that goes on around me.
I have committed myself to spending thirty minutes each day on each area. And though I haven't been all that successful in keeping to that, I'm gonna try my hardest in the weeks to come.
There are two directions - do translation and trade forex. So here I am, full circle. I'm happy, because I don't quite like having to tell myself that I have, yet again, let go of another of my spurts of interest in stuff that goes on around me.
I have committed myself to spending thirty minutes each day on each area. And though I haven't been all that successful in keeping to that, I'm gonna try my hardest in the weeks to come.
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Cambodia - My inhumanity
I came back from Cambodia about 34 hours. Haven't done much though. No work, no assignments. Just had 2 tuitions. And I'm in the midst of another. Left my student some work to do though.
My inhumanity. I didn't shed a tear visiting the Tuol Sleng Prison or the Killing Fields. Both were extremely moving and meant a lot of pain and a great deal of suffering for victims involved. I suspect that it was also difficult for those who were executing and torturing the victims.
I felt disconnected. At the Killing Fields, the guide for the site was just odd. So odd that many of us forgot his suffering (his entire family was killed by Khmer Rouge) and concluded (at least temporarily) that he has gone mad (or gotten a screw loose in his head) from staying on the site since 1980.
I missed his pain totally! I can't believe I was that insensitive to have not seen him as another human being. My friend, and travel mate, Joshua told me that I lacked the sociological training. I think not. I lack humanity. I lack compassion. I was trapped in my small little world, and couldn't see that there was some very severe conditions and occurences that was in this part of the world. And in HIS WORLD too.
On speaking to Vindy and Joshua, and hearing their interpretations of the guide's odd behaviour (like asking what bullet it is to the westerners during the guided tour - an M16 round), I was in shock. I didn't know! I wish I understood the significance of all our guide did and said. I wish I could detect his anguish in his eyes. I wish (much later) that I could relieve some of the pain.
And the significance of the M16 - 5.56mm - round is this: It was used in an American rifle. The M16 was developed by the US in response to the russian AK47. Who was behind Pol Pot? Was he really communist? I've no answers. But the bullet sure says something.
Later over a drink, I realised how useless my buddhist beliefs and practices were in terms of dealing with the negativity that was generated over the trip. I couldn't do anything about the suffering. Not then (in 1975-79) and not even now. I couldn't pray or wish away the pain. I wonder how much negativity I brought away by doing tonglen.
This later prompted me to go for the Pchum Ban festival (akin to Singapore's Hungry Ghost Festival) at a temple in Phnom Penh though. Second time I missed sleep for this event. But it took on a new meaning because I imagined the amount of trauma that is faced by the living and the dead because of those 4 years.
I hope this lesson stays with me. I hope I don't prematurely judge others in future. I pray I always listen to - and imagine - their stories fully next time.
I pray peace comes upon all who suffered or is suffering because of the events that occurred from 1975 to 1979 in Cambodia, the then Kampuchea.
My inhumanity. I didn't shed a tear visiting the Tuol Sleng Prison or the Killing Fields. Both were extremely moving and meant a lot of pain and a great deal of suffering for victims involved. I suspect that it was also difficult for those who were executing and torturing the victims.
I felt disconnected. At the Killing Fields, the guide for the site was just odd. So odd that many of us forgot his suffering (his entire family was killed by Khmer Rouge) and concluded (at least temporarily) that he has gone mad (or gotten a screw loose in his head) from staying on the site since 1980.
I missed his pain totally! I can't believe I was that insensitive to have not seen him as another human being. My friend, and travel mate, Joshua told me that I lacked the sociological training. I think not. I lack humanity. I lack compassion. I was trapped in my small little world, and couldn't see that there was some very severe conditions and occurences that was in this part of the world. And in HIS WORLD too.
On speaking to Vindy and Joshua, and hearing their interpretations of the guide's odd behaviour (like asking what bullet it is to the westerners during the guided tour - an M16 round), I was in shock. I didn't know! I wish I understood the significance of all our guide did and said. I wish I could detect his anguish in his eyes. I wish (much later) that I could relieve some of the pain.
And the significance of the M16 - 5.56mm - round is this: It was used in an American rifle. The M16 was developed by the US in response to the russian AK47. Who was behind Pol Pot? Was he really communist? I've no answers. But the bullet sure says something.
Later over a drink, I realised how useless my buddhist beliefs and practices were in terms of dealing with the negativity that was generated over the trip. I couldn't do anything about the suffering. Not then (in 1975-79) and not even now. I couldn't pray or wish away the pain. I wonder how much negativity I brought away by doing tonglen.
This later prompted me to go for the Pchum Ban festival (akin to Singapore's Hungry Ghost Festival) at a temple in Phnom Penh though. Second time I missed sleep for this event. But it took on a new meaning because I imagined the amount of trauma that is faced by the living and the dead because of those 4 years.
I hope this lesson stays with me. I hope I don't prematurely judge others in future. I pray I always listen to - and imagine - their stories fully next time.
I pray peace comes upon all who suffered or is suffering because of the events that occurred from 1975 to 1979 in Cambodia, the then Kampuchea.
Friday, 22 August 2008
From playing with sand to...
7th AUG: Today I decided to build the Great Wall of China. And so I did. Nothing major happened. Just that it left me with a huge backache that lasted 3 days before it subsided. 
14th AUG: I aspired to build/sculpt a model of the Effiel Tower. Inspired by Yin Har actually, one of my best university friends. Got me thinking about how to do something special for my gf, Miranda. But guess what? I didn't manage to get the sandpile up to my desired height. I wanted something around my waist. And before I could even reach that it COLLAPSED!!
There you see! The left (or is it right?) side collapsed. On hindsight, I could have still carved it. But I decided to go for something else.
And that something else is a classical buddhist hand symbol. It looks like an OK sign.
But according to Wikipedia (the worse academic resource to possibly quote from), "The Vitarka mudrā ("mudrā of discussion") is the gesture of discussion and transmission of Buddhist teaching." But my discussion, I mean the sculpture collapsed because I sensed the movement of the 3rd finger when I was carving some details, but didn't realise it's a sign of impending collapse. Which means my sculpture was structurally unsound. So by the time I thought of taking pictures, I'm just left with an amateurish index finger and thumb portion. This talk about understanding and reading signs seems to come from Paulo Coehlo.
21st AUG: I built 2 sandpiles TOO CLOSE to the water! Argh! And I had to abandon both in the end. But I discovered an interesting fact today. That the natural weight of the sand does a much better job at compressing and giving rise to the structural integrity of the sand below the surface level. So thus, when it rained, I went to an area when the sand was much coarser and dug. And wa-la! I dug deep enough to reach my waist with my feet in the hole.
My idea is to build a Chinese-styled roof and house a simple (read: I can't do a complex one) image of a Buddha inside.
This took me a lot of effort blowing! Blowing is done using a straw (duh!) to get rid of sand which cannot be gotten rid of using tools.
The abstract outline of a Buddha statue. Meant to be 2D.
The completed work looked impressive to me. (Allow me some self-boast, since I never thought i could finish this, especially the roof) The Buddha looks amateurish, I admit. And he has abs! Haha... Maybe it's my wish that I have abs too? In the midst of carving, I was interrupted by some staff of Sentosa. (They basically manage the island) And they kindly requested me to cover the hole when I'm done. Pretty sad isn't it? But as with many things in life, we must learn to let go. And so I did cover the big hole when i left. To at least 90% I think.
What is interesting is that I managed to do another piece. This one is basically a rudimentary and experimental sculpture of a castle with spiral stairs. It's not quite elegant. But a good try for a start. 
Lessons learnt!
7 AUG
21st AUG
These 2 times when I build sandpiles too close to the water taught me one thing. LET GO! In some sense it's the concept of stoploss used in forex trading. When one knows the position is a bad one, one should cut losses as earlier as possible and look for another opportunity. Exactly what I did in these cases.
My sexy back view! (according to Miranda)
I really really enjoy sculpting! It's not so much about expression anymore. I started out doing this because I wanted to find some means of expression. It was and is in line with my idea of including some form of arts in my life.
But my work attracted people. Not many. But a handful. Usually tourists. In sculpting, I talked to people from India, Dubai, Pakistan, China, Vietnam, and Taiwan. And I bet that list will grow as I put more of my ideas on sand. I'm glad my work is appreciated by some, even if it's just a few. Thanks to all who gave me wonderful comments and noted my efforts!
14th AUG: I aspired to build/sculpt a model of the Effiel Tower. Inspired by Yin Har actually, one of my best university friends. Got me thinking about how to do something special for my gf, Miranda. But guess what? I didn't manage to get the sandpile up to my desired height. I wanted something around my waist. And before I could even reach that it COLLAPSED!!
There you see! The left (or is it right?) side collapsed. On hindsight, I could have still carved it. But I decided to go for something else.
And that something else is a classical buddhist hand symbol. It looks like an OK sign.
But according to Wikipedia (the worse academic resource to possibly quote from), "The Vitarka mudrā ("mudrā of discussion") is the gesture of discussion and transmission of Buddhist teaching." But my discussion, I mean the sculpture collapsed because I sensed the movement of the 3rd finger when I was carving some details, but didn't realise it's a sign of impending collapse. Which means my sculpture was structurally unsound. So by the time I thought of taking pictures, I'm just left with an amateurish index finger and thumb portion. This talk about understanding and reading signs seems to come from Paulo Coehlo.
21st AUG: I built 2 sandpiles TOO CLOSE to the water! Argh! And I had to abandon both in the end. But I discovered an interesting fact today. That the natural weight of the sand does a much better job at compressing and giving rise to the structural integrity of the sand below the surface level. So thus, when it rained, I went to an area when the sand was much coarser and dug. And wa-la! I dug deep enough to reach my waist with my feet in the hole.My idea is to build a Chinese-styled roof and house a simple (read: I can't do a complex one) image of a Buddha inside.
This took me a lot of effort blowing! Blowing is done using a straw (duh!) to get rid of sand which cannot be gotten rid of using tools.
The abstract outline of a Buddha statue. Meant to be 2D.
The completed work looked impressive to me. (Allow me some self-boast, since I never thought i could finish this, especially the roof) The Buddha looks amateurish, I admit. And he has abs! Haha... Maybe it's my wish that I have abs too? In the midst of carving, I was interrupted by some staff of Sentosa. (They basically manage the island) And they kindly requested me to cover the hole when I'm done. Pretty sad isn't it? But as with many things in life, we must learn to let go. And so I did cover the big hole when i left. To at least 90% I think.
What is interesting is that I managed to do another piece. This one is basically a rudimentary and experimental sculpture of a castle with spiral stairs. It's not quite elegant. But a good try for a start. 
Lessons learnt!7 AUG
21st AUG
These 2 times when I build sandpiles too close to the water taught me one thing. LET GO! In some sense it's the concept of stoploss used in forex trading. When one knows the position is a bad one, one should cut losses as earlier as possible and look for another opportunity. Exactly what I did in these cases.My sexy back view! (according to Miranda)
I really really enjoy sculpting! It's not so much about expression anymore. I started out doing this because I wanted to find some means of expression. It was and is in line with my idea of including some form of arts in my life.But my work attracted people. Not many. But a handful. Usually tourists. In sculpting, I talked to people from India, Dubai, Pakistan, China, Vietnam, and Taiwan. And I bet that list will grow as I put more of my ideas on sand. I'm glad my work is appreciated by some, even if it's just a few. Thanks to all who gave me wonderful comments and noted my efforts!
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
I'm freaking late!
"Freaking" is a word I commonly use these days. And I guess it expresses a sense of exasperation. After all, things are moving as fast as I hope they can. Which really is my fault, since my effort in some aspects is either really lacking or non-existent.
But after opening the IBFX platform last friday, today I finally found the time and will to sit down and figure out which are the Support/Resistance lines for 5 pairs - GBPUSD, EURUSD, USDJPY, USDCHF AND AUDUSD. To be honest, I don't know why I put in the last one. It just seems like the aussie is an attractive pair to trade. I took slightly more than an hour to complete the SR lines for all 5 pairs using the monthly and weekly charts. Haven't managed to collect info like how many times the lines were tested respectively though.
And it really is some sort of art trying to figure out which lines should be drawn. As with sculpturing, I'm starting from scratch. I'm just trying out the tools and trying to learn the ropes (or rules). I'm sure I've drawn too many lines. But that doesn't matter I think.
Anyway, using the lines I've drawn. I'm gonna embark on my backtesting of 1000 trades. An outline of what to do have been drawn up. I'm basically gonna test some hypothesis. And my testing will tell me whether my hypothesis stands and how well they perform. I'm doing some basic math modules that deal with uncertainty and risk, and I wonder if I can use the knowledge to analysis my methodologies and results. But that aside, my first hypothesis is that SR lines A)are strong supports when price tests the line from above, and B)they are strong resistance when price tests the line from below. Effectively that means this hypothesis is that whenever price tests any SR line, it should bounce off the line and return in the direction it was coming from.
This one is pretty easy to test, and probably will be proven wrong in no time. My backtesting will have to be to long whenever (A) occurs and short whenever (B) occurs.
My second hypothesis involves the use of trend indicators to establish the strength of the SR lines. Basically if the trend indicator indicates a downward trend, and price is testing a SR line from above, then the SR line's strength as a support is uncertain. If however, the price was testing a SR line from below, then it is that the SR line would be strong as a resistance. The opposite also is possibly true.
So the testing for this hypothesis is as follows:
1. Long if a support is tested from above and trend is up.
2. Short if a resistance is tested from below and the trend is down.
Third hypothesis. By using momentum/strength indicators(MSI) (eg. Stochastic/Relative Strength Index etc), we can tell the strength of the trend relative to the strength of SR lines. The testing will take the form of:-
1. Long when price approaches either C)support line when MSI points to a weak trend
or D)resistance lines when MSI points to a strong trend
2. Short when price approaches either E)support line when MSI points to a strong trend
or F)resistance lines when MSI points to a weak trend
FOR FITNESS, I think I've gotten better. I made plans to run about 3 times a week. But weather wasn't too good yesterday. And I still some strain from my slightly sprained ankle. I was thinking I was just making more excuses. But I seriously don't want to worsen any injury (if mine can even be considered one). I'll start next week.
But after opening the IBFX platform last friday, today I finally found the time and will to sit down and figure out which are the Support/Resistance lines for 5 pairs - GBPUSD, EURUSD, USDJPY, USDCHF AND AUDUSD. To be honest, I don't know why I put in the last one. It just seems like the aussie is an attractive pair to trade. I took slightly more than an hour to complete the SR lines for all 5 pairs using the monthly and weekly charts. Haven't managed to collect info like how many times the lines were tested respectively though.
And it really is some sort of art trying to figure out which lines should be drawn. As with sculpturing, I'm starting from scratch. I'm just trying out the tools and trying to learn the ropes (or rules). I'm sure I've drawn too many lines. But that doesn't matter I think.
Anyway, using the lines I've drawn. I'm gonna embark on my backtesting of 1000 trades. An outline of what to do have been drawn up. I'm basically gonna test some hypothesis. And my testing will tell me whether my hypothesis stands and how well they perform. I'm doing some basic math modules that deal with uncertainty and risk, and I wonder if I can use the knowledge to analysis my methodologies and results. But that aside, my first hypothesis is that SR lines A)are strong supports when price tests the line from above, and B)they are strong resistance when price tests the line from below. Effectively that means this hypothesis is that whenever price tests any SR line, it should bounce off the line and return in the direction it was coming from.
This one is pretty easy to test, and probably will be proven wrong in no time. My backtesting will have to be to long whenever (A) occurs and short whenever (B) occurs.
My second hypothesis involves the use of trend indicators to establish the strength of the SR lines. Basically if the trend indicator indicates a downward trend, and price is testing a SR line from above, then the SR line's strength as a support is uncertain. If however, the price was testing a SR line from below, then it is that the SR line would be strong as a resistance. The opposite also is possibly true.
So the testing for this hypothesis is as follows:
1. Long if a support is tested from above and trend is up.
2. Short if a resistance is tested from below and the trend is down.
Third hypothesis. By using momentum/strength indicators(MSI) (eg. Stochastic/Relative Strength Index etc), we can tell the strength of the trend relative to the strength of SR lines. The testing will take the form of:-
1. Long when price approaches either C)support line when MSI points to a weak trend
or D)resistance lines when MSI points to a strong trend
2. Short when price approaches either E)support line when MSI points to a strong trend
or F)resistance lines when MSI points to a weak trend
FOR FITNESS, I think I've gotten better. I made plans to run about 3 times a week. But weather wasn't too good yesterday. And I still some strain from my slightly sprained ankle. I was thinking I was just making more excuses. But I seriously don't want to worsen any injury (if mine can even be considered one). I'll start next week.
Monday, 11 August 2008
Back on track (pun unintended)!
Haha, following my last post, today is the "post (about my forex plan) later today"...which is really a "tomorrow" by yesterday's standards.
For fitness, nope, I still haven't ran a single bit since I last lost the war against IPPT. But I did go back to doing chin ups and sit ups. For the record, I can safely say I am now able to achieve the pass standard for IPPT - 6 chin ups. I'm thinking of doing some charts on a piece of mahjong paper and putting them up on the wall. To remind me of what has been achieved and what more can be. In fact, that sounds like a good exercise for anything major in life. So there's financial, academics, love, social, etc etc
Anyway, I'm ultra late in executing my plan to pull my socks up as a forex trader. Oh wait, to sidetrack a little, I lost all my data on my expenditure which I've been recording in my hp since 12 days ago (which is the start of August). I guess that teaches me about backing up data. Especially when I have a laptop which seems affected by either a worm or virus.
Anyway, on to my detailed forex plan. First the timeline.
8 Aug Finalise Forex plan
9 Aug - 8 Sept Test method 1
9 Sept - 8 Oct Test method 2
9 Oct - 8 Nov Test method 3
In the midst of typing this post, I thought I had already done this sometime back. I checked, twice. And I realised I am way behind in my blogging. MANY things and incidents that I think is worthy of mention is left out. Mostly unintentionally.
Anyway, the approaches I'm taking is going to be very foundational and traditional tools of technical analysis. Support and Resistance lines, Triangles and Channels. I haven't figured how to trade all of those. But I have quite a detailed test plan out for the first. (That again warrants another post - it's way to long to subsume under this one) But one thing is certain, I need to be doing at least 1000 backtested trades per window of 1 mth.
So that's that, I got a few of my friends to passively check my progress, which means they won't hound me if I don't do anything which I plan to do, but I would send some reports or reflections to them at the end of each period. Serves as a motivation to me. I (hopefully) tend to work harder when we think I need to disclose how much I've accomplished.
For fitness, nope, I still haven't ran a single bit since I last lost the war against IPPT. But I did go back to doing chin ups and sit ups. For the record, I can safely say I am now able to achieve the pass standard for IPPT - 6 chin ups. I'm thinking of doing some charts on a piece of mahjong paper and putting them up on the wall. To remind me of what has been achieved and what more can be. In fact, that sounds like a good exercise for anything major in life. So there's financial, academics, love, social, etc etc
Anyway, I'm ultra late in executing my plan to pull my socks up as a forex trader. Oh wait, to sidetrack a little, I lost all my data on my expenditure which I've been recording in my hp since 12 days ago (which is the start of August). I guess that teaches me about backing up data. Especially when I have a laptop which seems affected by either a worm or virus.
Anyway, on to my detailed forex plan. First the timeline.
8 Aug Finalise Forex plan
9 Aug - 8 Sept Test method 1
9 Sept - 8 Oct Test method 2
9 Oct - 8 Nov Test method 3
In the midst of typing this post, I thought I had already done this sometime back. I checked, twice. And I realised I am way behind in my blogging. MANY things and incidents that I think is worthy of mention is left out. Mostly unintentionally.
Anyway, the approaches I'm taking is going to be very foundational and traditional tools of technical analysis. Support and Resistance lines, Triangles and Channels. I haven't figured how to trade all of those. But I have quite a detailed test plan out for the first. (That again warrants another post - it's way to long to subsume under this one) But one thing is certain, I need to be doing at least 1000 backtested trades per window of 1 mth.
So that's that, I got a few of my friends to passively check my progress, which means they won't hound me if I don't do anything which I plan to do, but I would send some reports or reflections to them at the end of each period. Serves as a motivation to me. I (hopefully) tend to work harder when we think I need to disclose how much I've accomplished.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Lagging... I'm slacking...
ARGH! I am freaking slow! My life which was so filled with direction and aims and goals and programs stopped completely for the past 2 days. Haven't gone ahead to fulfil schedules for my forex trading, fitness etc etc.
But today's a good day to start again. After all, school's starting! I don't quite know if I welcome the sem. Well, I do, but I just have my concerns. (But who doesn't yeah?) Arranged to meet my academic advisor for the very first time today! And that's after email exchanges since 2 months ago I think.
Plus I'll go back to seeing my nus mates with much greater frequency. Haha, but I'm gonna be such an econs-freak this sem because I am taking 4 major modules. But I'll still keep my sanity with 2 usp mods. The new one costs me A LOT of points! Just bidpoints though.
And I would like to welcome all freshies that I have met, no matter how brief that meeting was, to NUS Fac of Arts and Social Sciences. I hope you guys and girls have lotsa fun and find learning and exams not too much a bore. Learning definitely isn't if it's taken in the right spirit. But I totally can't say the same for exams.
I guess I'll talk about my forex plans later today. Alright, have fun till then!
But today's a good day to start again. After all, school's starting! I don't quite know if I welcome the sem. Well, I do, but I just have my concerns. (But who doesn't yeah?) Arranged to meet my academic advisor for the very first time today! And that's after email exchanges since 2 months ago I think.
Plus I'll go back to seeing my nus mates with much greater frequency. Haha, but I'm gonna be such an econs-freak this sem because I am taking 4 major modules. But I'll still keep my sanity with 2 usp mods. The new one costs me A LOT of points! Just bidpoints though.
And I would like to welcome all freshies that I have met, no matter how brief that meeting was, to NUS Fac of Arts and Social Sciences. I hope you guys and girls have lotsa fun and find learning and exams not too much a bore. Learning definitely isn't if it's taken in the right spirit. But I totally can't say the same for exams.
I guess I'll talk about my forex plans later today. Alright, have fun till then!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)