Reflections

I'm beginning to step into a more contemplative, and, in some sense, religious mood. Not that I am a fundamentalist or anything. But I really wonder where I am heading with all these efforts in forex, looking for a job and stuff.

Just a note, but the GBP doesn't look like it's gonna go southwards soon. I sure hope my whole virtual account doesn't go empty, otherwise I'll have nothing to practise using. As for the averaging principle I mentioned earlier...I can't possibly practise it when I have only about 3000 margin left and it will be gone should the GBP/USD go up another 100 pips or so.

Just thought I'll put in this entry to mark my issues when I did the fundraising work. Like I already said, what really affected me is the rejections. Someone ever quoted to me "the fear of suffering is more painful than suffering itself" and I agree hands-down. If I could have, not only theoretically, understood that it was simply a "numbers game" - probability of getting a "yes" - I wouldn't be so concerned with the "NO!s" as with asking more people.

My trainer said it correctly, that this is a hurdle I'll have to cross myself. And I recognise it not only in this situation. It's a matter of resolute...in this case if I could forget my ego...and in other cases would I persevere on despite the objections and trials...

I really don't quite know...my life, to me, has been too beautiful, not that I am complaining...Since I was young, I obtained fairly good results and I hear very nice praises from people...and all this don't arise from my own effort...I mean, of course I did some stuff to get my results...but it was never tough decisions or strenous efforts beyond what I believe are my capabilities.

In that sense I am lacking...and I know I will be put to the test no matter what I do or where I go...it is a fundamental process towards success...I once heard..."it is only when we set targets and goals that we start experiencing what we know as resistance. it is such that if we had no goals, life wouldn't be tough as we can just float around with no discontentment arising from the non-achievement of a dream"...

I shall strive on...and my current battlegrounds are the forex market and my need of a job for this 6 months.