Rethinking in Process...

Rethink about what? Is there such a word in the dictionary at all?

Well, before I answer that...let me just say that I had much fun working at the roadshow. The best times were still when I could advise in the best interests of my clients though. Was assigned to distribute vouchers that were given as premiums for the roadshow. That kinda sucked but it still beats an office job! Haha...was sick on the first day anyway...pretty feverish...and I had to rely on panadol...whenever the effect of the dosage went off...the jitters came back and I even shivered at some points in time...but well, saturday came and somehow I recovered...I wonder y and how...but well...it's just gd I don't feel so bad anymore...

And what am I led to rethink? Today I had a tuition session with my nj student...and btw...I give tuition for economics H1 and H2 yeah...haha...that's some advertising...but doubt it'll get me anywhere...and I didn't even realise it was post-exams and the start of hols! which caused the mood to be generally quite relaxed and we had some small talk...

The most impt part is that my student actually lived and proved the "fix your mind on your objective and you'll reach it" formula...and she went on to describe some of her goals like looking better, learning how to dance, getting her As etc...the one about "looking gd" caught my attention...now, I've always prided(I dunno if that shld be the word to use, at least I didn't quite bother about my looks) on being simple and didn't give 2 hoots abt my appearance...my student wants fame...that's not my goal...but I wonder...shldn't I try to look better and presentable? At least some guy who can catch someone's attention(not in a negative light though)? And I think it is not that I can't...the phrase "there are no ugly ladies, just lazy ones" apply v much to their male counterparts as well...

Am I doing myself a disservice by staying the way I am? Am I still stuck in the cycle of self-defeating activity? Am I still killing my own self-esteem?

I need answers...but it has to come from within...I hope they surface soon...and mayb the next time you see me again...I might just look a little different!