Reflections and Doubts on my character PART 2

So here comes the actual stuff I'm supposed to talk about earlier this morning. These thoughts were actually triggered after watching Spiderman 3 the movie.

Just a slight deviation again. Been reading a very expensive book at Times Bookstore. It's a first-person narrative of a person's journey in learning how to trade forex. And one important lesson today is this: The person who wants to and depends on winning most would not win. Simply because when one's survival depends on trading, he tends to trade emotionally without a system. And that's a killer. The best trader trades according to his system, checking his every trade against a list of factors that must be met before he enters a position, and knowing that the system has a certain long term yield which would not be undermined by short term losses. So it's not about trading more or less, winning more or less pips, but following one's system and perfecting one's discipline.

Ok. Back to topic. I just got back from Malaysia, and one of the highlights of the trip is collecting a photo album done some 2 months back. Well, my relative set up a bridal boutique, which, of course, does more than simply bridal stuff. So our entire family was convinced to have an album done. Just in time for my 21st birthday. But that doesn't matter.

And this thought, supported by other events in my life, arises. I can look good. Well, not boastful at all I hope. But at least I can look more acceptable than what I appear as now. And I told my girlfriend that I should have my hair done with her at a saloon. A proper haircut. First in my life. And that I should go for some sort of makeover. I can feel my confidence growing.

But is it certainly positive?

Remember what spiderman did when he was infested with the "black creature"? The way he treated his ex-girlfriend (sorry, I truly have no aptitude for names) at the jazz bar. I know the cause is the evil nature of the "black stuff" that affected him. But can looking better, and thereby boosting my ego, lead me down the same road? I've been discussing, with my girlfriend, her concern about the possibility I might look for another girl during my varsity days. Is that possible? I can't even say it's an absolute negative.

Maybe I shouldn't change.

I wonder what the future holds.