On my first attempt at translation

By the grace of 何老師, I got some comments on my virgin attempt at doing some Chinese-to-English translation. I had some good stuff, like how I was aware of some of my problems ("how do I translate that accurately?!?") and that I was translating into the language I am more familiar with and confident in. There are, of course, lots to improve on.

1. While I am happy translating into English, my mastery of the Chinese Language will determine, to a large extent, what I understand of the text, and thus the quality of my translation. This will be a multi-year (and perhaps lifelong) project to improve my CL.

2. Key terms. Not fully understanding the meaning of certain key ideas or terminology in the source text can drastically affect how I understand parts of the original piece. Here is understood 偏鄉 as 偏向鄉村（的地方）while 何老師 said that, in his understanding, it means 偏僻，偏遠的鄉下。This in itself changes how we view the extent and reasons behind certain disadvantages the children feel.

3. Imagery. 何老師 tends towards spending a lot of time imagining and visualising the narration in the text. A key example would be 一盞燈 in 每個孩子的生命裏至少需要一盞燈。Truth is, I found this term and line extremely difficult to translate, and my attempt left me less than satisfied for I tried to literally talk about a lamp/light. 何老師 asked me what I imagined the light to be like, in my mind - confessing that translation drains his time and energy because he spends much time visualising such lines/chapters/parts before attempting to translate them. I told him that I saw something like a candle light, a weak glow in a yesteryear lamp. And it occurred to me then that, to an English readership, I should be talking about a glimmer of hope, rather than the light/lamp imagery!

4. Tone. I used overly formal/academic words in translating some stuff. For example, 智商會比臺北的學生低嗎 was translated as "Look, compared to those in Taipei, are the students in the countryside intellectually challenged?" 何老師 reflected that, given the nature of the piece, that it was a speech that was quite informal and off-the-top of the speaker's mind, I should have gone for a more tone-apt way of phrasing "intellectually challenged" -- 老師 suggested "...not as smart?" This comment opened my eyes to, yet again, my inclination to overly intellectualise and complexify things. To 老師 it is very simple. Since the text called for a direct of way-of-speech, then translation should avoid affecting that "feel" of that work.

For the first time, I feel like I am being coached in something. And 何老師 is more than any student can ask for. Gentle with his words, unassuming, but very thoughtful and full of insights. Thank you so much, my dear teacher, guide and friend! (ok, this is not very fair, I have another mentor that...I should devote another post to)